Dregs #70

First of all, let me say that I never thought I would post more episodes than my original cartoon strip, The Science Project, which I was sure was going to be a hit. Most episodes of SP still make me laugh, where the others make me shake my head while I mutter to myself "what were you thinking?" Oh well, they're not all winners. But The Dregs is 70 episodes old and I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have.

This episode is a blend of another Pitt-ism and an idea I've have for some time. I don't know about you, but it drives me crazy when people say "no offense" before letting someone have it and saying something offensive. The same goes for, "I don't mean to sound like a jerk..." or "don't take this the wrong way...". After reading this episode, I think you can see how it fits. The "everything else does" joke is the Pitt-ism and is probably the funniest thing he's ever said, so it'd be a shame if I didn't use it.

Cheers!

Johnny

The Science Project #58

God, I haven't done an SP in a long while! I had been saving this idea for a while, hoping to use it for The Dregs, but it never seemed to fit like it would for an SP. I originally wanted to use it with the saying, "A friend will help you create a body. A real friend will help you dispose of one." And what if that person brought limes instead of lyme? So here it is. "Awkwarrrrddd..."

I also tried a different stylistic approach to the characters, which is going to be something I wanted to try out because I want to use it for a children's book I might be illustrating. I hope you like it.

Cheers.

Johnny

PS - I have a few other SP ideas I'm working with, so expect another couple soon.

the science project #57

This episode was drawn in November when the big TSA pat down scare started. I know the publication of this comic is more than a little late, but I've never been known to be punctual. Just ask my ex-girlfriend. Thankfully, the TSA is still known for "aggressive pat downs", so it still plays. I hope you all enjoy both the comic and your pat downs.

Cheers.

Johnny

the science project on hiatus

i just wanted to make a formal post about The Science Project and its continuing absence from near future postings. for the record, it is not over. right now, i'm working on publishing a small collection of Dregs episodes for sale and distribution, but i will pick back up with the SP when i have the time again.

thanks for your concerns and love for a truly fun part of my life.

john

the science project #56

this episode titled "mock trial", was drawn in late april 2010. the title was ripped off from Arrested Development's "Mock Trial with Judge Reinhold" because it was the first thing that popped in my head and i couldn't stop laughing. by the way, if you haven't seen all three seasons of AD, please do so. it's the best sitcom to come out in the last decade.

as you can see, the judge from "porn court" is back, this time sentencing someone to death. the idea came from a news article about a week ago about a man choosing the firing squad over lethal injection in utah. the fact that that article came out so quickly after another article about a man in ohio inmate on death row arguing that his allergy to anesthesia should halt his execution by lethal injection. they killed him anyway about a week or two ago and it's funny. good try though, buddy.

john

the science project #55

this episode called "law & order: adult video unit" was drawn in late march 2010. the story behind this one is simple. i watch a LOT of law & order. seriously. lennie briscoe is my main man. but in between the 3 back to back weekly episodes, there are several commercials for the tv show "bones" in which david borneanaz says "the dna's a match" while emily deschanel corrects him and gives him a nerdy/pseudo sexy glare. after seeing this commercial at least 10 times a day every day, the similarity between the two acronyms became glaringly obvious. actually, coming up with a clever title for this one was the most difficult part.

the science project #54

this episode titled "bright lights, big city" was drawing in late march 2010. this idea was an older one that i only just completed because i had a few other ideas on how to draw it. one way was to have the guy explaining himself in an interrogation room. another was to have a girl talking about how she was once arrested for this little misunderstanding. this time i thought i'd let the girls off the hook and use a male character. this time only, though. ha ha ha.

the science project #53

this episode titled "suicidal tendencies" was drawn in early march 2010. i recently quit smoking by taking wellbutrin vs the other non-smoking aid chantix. if you didn't already know, both of these drugs have suicide as a side effect. obviously, suicide is not funny, but it is when it's the side effect of a non-smoking drug. "he be a corpse, but at least he finally kicked that disgusting habit!"

the science project #52

this episode, titled "take a left on the highway to hell and take it all the way down", was drawn in early march. i got this idea from a friend on facebook. i said something about how i needed to "get my damned car window fixed." she asked if that required a mechanic or an exorcist. i said it required a pencil and paper because i need to write that down. enjoy!

the science project #51

this episode, titled "i swear, it was like this when i found it" was drawn in late february 2010. i thought this one up after my dad sent me an e-mail with political cartoons, all leaning toward the right. i am more liberal than conservative, so i usually read/watch/listen to more liberal media. these cartoons, however, gave me an interesting and intelligent view of how people view obama's first term (sans the limbaugh-esque sound bites that melt my brain cells). initially, the idea was to show that obama really hasn't made good on the promises he made and we elected him for (one being the removal of our troops in the middle east). then i thought, "what if the Staples' easy button was real or obama believed that it was and was upset that it wasn't working?" my initial thought was that obama wasn't going to understand that, because it's a toy, it wasn't working. that didn't make sense though because he's not an idiot. but the last president was and so, being a liberal, i couldn't just take a shot at obama when george w. bush is soooo much more fun to fuck with.

i hope you like it.

j

THE SCIENCE PROJECT #50!!!

i would like to start off by saying that i never thought i'd draw this many episodes of SP, and certainly not this quickly. it used to take me forever to get myself to draw just one, and then i'd lean back, feeling accomplished, and not do another one for a month or so. granted, the strip was a lot different at the beginning, but i was just flat out lazy. anyway, reaching this goal feels great. i hope you enjoyed the ride.

this episode, titled "in the land of the blind, you can't see who's plotting to kill you", was drawn in early february 2010. i guess you can say that i dated this one with the FaceBook reference, but i couldn't help myself being somewhat of a FaceBook junkie. i don't know why people get so uppity when the format changes. then you see groups being formed with names like "if we get 1,000,000 fans maybe we can get the old format back" or something, as if FaceBook would throw away a format that cost a lot of money to develop for 1M users. sorry, guys. 1M of more than 400M users worldwide is a minority they can live with. but, keep your chin up and keep requesting people to join your cause. i got away from myself... where was i? oh, that's right. people getting uppity. my brother and i were talking about the newest FaceBook layout change (via FB, of course) and we joked about it causing riots and, ultimately, the decimation of the human race. the rest wrote itself.

what can i say? genius runs in the family. as well as addiction to FaceBook. we've got "the gene."

the science project #49

this episode, titled "book 'em, dan-o", was drawn in early february 2010. there's no back story to this one. i think i got the idea from an e-mail my dad sent me.

the science project #48

almost to #50! this episode titled "function dysfunction" was drawn in early february 2010. this idea came from something that happened to me. one day i had logged on to my computer and a minute or so after sending one e-mail to a friend i came back to my computer to find that someone had gotten my e-mail password and sent out advertisements for viagra and cialis to quite a few people on my contact list. initially, i thought i could make a joke out of computer virus sending e-mails for sexual enhancement drugs. that didn't seem to work so well, so i came up with this one. i hope you like it.

also, some of you have told me that you don't like the layout format for this comic strip. i've changed it to a more traditional border and i'll be using it for now on.

the science project #47

this episode, titled "eat the rich", (after the Motorhead song) was drawn in late january 2010. it's very dialogue heavy in the first panel, but i couldn't think of a way to do it without all that dialogue. i also couldn't figure out how i was going to really drive in the punchline "isn't that rich" and would the readers get how the joke works in 3 ways - she could be referring to her husband "richard", she could be referring to her financial status, and/or she could be referring to the gag gift. i like to think she meant it to be all three, but i doubt it. i also like how this episode can be read as how rich people are out of touch with common folks. or maybe it comments on how the overly fortunate are oblivious and insensitive since they live in their own world. or maybe it says that the bear skin rug turned out really great. i like to think it's saying all 3, but i doubt it.

the back story to this one is from all those christmas car commercials. this past december, i caught myself shaking my head at the tv because i couldn't believe someone would give someone else a car for christmas. i mean, who's got the money for something like that? i asked a friend the same question, and he replied with the obvious "rich people." including the dilapidated house in the second panel came together on the fly and tied it all together.

the science project #46

this episode was drawn in late january 2010 and is titled "not even Jesus likes a cry baby". this joke was originally going to be a "dregs" idea. it still could have worked for that strip, but i liked the idea i had for the sp and i think it payed off. i hope you think so too.

but there is a back story to this one. this was an actual argument i had with a friend. her boyfriend is a real jerk and one day i said that i didn't like him and i didn't want to be friends with him. she explained how he's her boyfriend and he's, of course, important to her, as i am. she asked me to say something and quash whatever ill feelings we had for each other and i exclaimed "why do i always have to be the good guy?" she replied, "because you ARE the good guy." at the time, i resented that, but she was right. you can try to be someone else, but, deep down, you are who you are. i ended up trying to bury the hatchet in an e-mail, but i never got a response. he's still a jerk. i'm still "the good guy". oh well.

the science project #45

this episode is titled "first come first serve" and was drawn in early january 2010. yes, i know. i went for the cheap joke here, but i thought the idea was hysterical. what if someone said that on your way out of a sperm bank? the original idea for this episode was going to be a sign over a room in a sperm bank displaying the title for this episode. i thought this way was funnier.

the science project #44

this episode, titled "hey there, tiger", was done in early january 2010. wow. the first comic of the new year. anyways, this episode was basically written by a friend and my dad. i just put the two ideas together. so, nadia and dad, thanks!

i don't think this has to be explained. but i will. MOST of us have sent messages to others that are... of a personal nature (or so i hear), and they never arrive. haven't you ever wondered where those messages go? my friend and i joked that there is some guy out there getting all these illicit messages and then has to defend himself with every woman he ever dates. my dad came up with the great idea to make this unfortuntate man tiger woods. the timing was perfect, so i couldn't resist.

the dregs #29

this episode was drawn in mid december 2009, otherwise known as "about 10 minutes ago". this idea was one that i had been trying to find a way to use for some time. originally, it was an SP idea, one that i thought could be delivered in a commercial style (like "i got crabs"). that idea was going to have a couple talking about how they discovered a product that made their sex lives better by making their partner more attractive. that product was going to be paper bags for their heads. still pretty funny, but using it for The Dregs just seemed to fit a little easier. regardless, i hope you like it.

the science project #43

this episode is titled "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no truth", it was drawn in mid december 2009. i had the punchline written for this episode a while ago, but i didn't have any way to use it. and so it stayed in my joke notebook in limbo (as many do) until i read a recent "red eye" (a free chicago tribune daily paper) about how the "don't snitch" mentality is really hindering chicago police investigations. at that moment, it all came together. i love it when that happens.

the science project #42

this episode, titled "hollow man", was drawn in mid december 2009. it was an old idea that my ex-girlfriend and i thought was funny a few years ago while vacationing with my family ocean city, md. i think we were joking about my crappy memory and i commented back by saying "if you put your ear to mine, you can hear the ocean" just like a sea shell, which were obviously abundant on the beach. it's funny because it's true.